The Difference Between Self-care and Coping

I was particularly overwhelmed one week (but honestly, what week am I not?) where I was prepping for a photoshoot, doing my full-time job, meeting customers for dinner, doing my side gigs, practicing a dance for a wedding, heading to alterations appointments, attending Voice lessons, doing my errands and chores and tax-paying and all that is required to stay alive as an adult and functioning as a human being. So…I took a bath. Epsom salts. Read on my Kindle. And…nothing happened.

When I met with my therapist, I demanded to know why it didn’t work. “I took a bath!" Why didn’t I feel better?”

She looked at me and said sagely, “The difference between self-care and coping is consistency.”

I work my mind and body to the ground and expect one little half-hour bath to fix everything. Coping is a last resort. It’s for emergencies. It’s not intended for longterm care or maintenance. So…with my hundred “To-Do” lists and calendar appointments, I finally added “Self-Care” to both of them. I need to make time to rest; I need to learn to rest. I am burning the midnight oil, burning the candle at both ends, and burning my damn self out.

Self-care can mean massages, or baths, or journaling, or doing a puzzle (my mom hates when I come home for the holidays and take up the entire dining room table with my 1000-piece puzzles), listening to music, reading, heck, popping bubble wrap, drinking more water, getting more sleep, doing your nails, getting your nails done, etc. And even though these aren’t money-generating activities, per se, they’re sanity-generating. And that’s important too.