The Conference Room Technique for Making Tough Decisions

Me having a conversation with all my favorite people.

I tend to use my imagination against me – to induce make-believe or unjustified anxiety. For example, sometimes, I just walk through life and imagine explosions occurring in front of me. Or what if I had accidentally run over that pedestrian? Did I leave the stove on? This one is particularly ridiculous because I almost never cook. Did I lock my door? Ahh yes, I have taken the subway back from the office a few times just to check.

But apparently, there’s a healthy way to use your imagination when it comes to mental health. My favorite, so far, that I’ve learned in group therapy is called “The Conference Room Technique” which is intended to help you solve problems. You can bet my corporate ass was all over this.

How it works:

1.)   Think about a decision you’ve been wrestling and would like to resolve.

2.)   Close your eyes.

3.)   Breathe deeply.

4.)   Imagine you are sitting at a conference room table – at the head of the table. Logic (who looks exactly like you because she is the logical part of you!) sits to your left. Emotion (similar deal) sits to your right.

5.)   Allow both Logic and Emotion to pitch you their solutions. Pay attention to not only what Logic and Emotion are saying, but how they are saying it.*

6.)   You (sitting at the head of the table) then thank each one for sharing their passionate solutions with you. Logic and Emotion are not bad. They are the logical and emotional parts of you that exist to protect you. Both have your best interests at heart – they just have different ways of going about it and/or expressing it. They’re here for you.

7.)   After thanking them, consider making a decision: yes, no, not yet.

8.)   Open your eyes.

*It’s important to pay attention to not only what Logic and Emotion are sharing but how they are sharing it. For example, when I was grappling with an important decision, I imagined Logic going first and very calmly and rationally explaining why we have to take one course of action. But Emotion kept interrupting (rather emotionally). At first I took this to mean that Emotion was incredibly impolite, rude, and frankly, a bitch, and her solution did not even warrant consideration. When I shared this with my group, our therapist surprised me with a completely different takeaway: “It sounds like Emotion feels like she’s not seen by you and is trying her best to speak up, to have a voice, and garner your attention – almost like, ‘don’t forget about me!’ What she has to say is important too.” I started giving Emotion a fair chance, and I realized my therapist was right. I hadn’t been listening. That doesn’t mean I chose one solution over the other. I thanked Logic and Emotion and told them that it sounds like we need to do “x,” but we don’t have to do it right this second. Let it run its course – in other words, not yet. I realized I was the one putting pressure on myself to make a decision in an arbitrary amount of time even if I knew which one was potentially the best decision for me. I compromised – I listened to Logic and Emotion, and I was better off for it.

I hope you have a productive meeting in your own conference room.